As I sat in the cold church hall and watched as the after-school club kids let off steam by playing football, one of the mummies broke the silence between the adults and asked, "Well, what are you all having for dinner tonight? I need some inspiration?" The loud one asked.
I am convinced if you were standing outside in the car park in gale-force winds you would still hear this particular lady.
There were various answers from those seated around.
"I am having salmon tonight with steamed vegetables, " replied the blonde yummy mummy with long red-painted nails.
I would, at a guess, say her housekeeper was preparing dinner, you couldn't do anything with those nails, that is for sure.
"We are having a chippy tea, as Casey and I are headed out." Came the answer from the small rotund woman sitting in the corner.
"Oh, now you have put me in the mood for a Chinese tonight. I couldn't be bothered making tea." Said the curly-haired woman sitting beside me, as she proceeded to unclip her bra and attach her baby to her unleashed boob. Yeah! You go girl, I thought to myself.
"We are having steak and chips, but wait until you hear this. I got a sirloin steak for me and him indoors, but I sliced it in half, so it was two thinly sliced sirloins. I'll add mushrooms and pepper sauce, and he will never know the difference, and I will keep the extra tenner. Cha-ching!" Orange floozy cackled.
She was orange from the fake tan, but I think she forgot about her neck and the back of her hands, they were still white.
Little Miss Prim chirped up from her corner, "David and I are going out to dinner tonight, for a five-course meal and cocktails at a two-Mechelin-starred restaurant up the coast."
Oh, my gawd, be quiet woman. You are probably going to John Dorys and washing it down with a bottle of Shloer.
The hall went silent when everything seemed to go into slow motion, all eyes were focused on the football flying through the air. Everyone watched in horror with their mouths wide open as the football was headed straight towards little Miss Prims face.
Oh Shit!
Hands were covering mouths now as the ball landed squarely on Little Miss Prim's face knocking her back against the seat. The commotion started. Kids were screaming. "It wasn't me! It wasn't me!"
The church representatives were running to the kitchen to get ice packs. The mummies were grabbing their kids as blood splattered everywhere.
That's when I began to panic. I had left fish out for dinner but I had this overwhelming feeling it wasn't what was on my menu tonight.
The smell of fresh blood was all too much for me. I have been a very good girl. I haven't had fresh blood in over a year.
No one noticed as I quietly walked over to the only exit door and locked it. I surveyed the room.
Who would be first?
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